#9 Hoagie Steak

As much of an institution as the cheesesteak is, there's two variants of almost equal importance.

1. The pizza steak
2. The hoagie steak

There's a group of people, a subculture, that would argue that there is a third: the chicken cheesesteak.  These people are fucking turds who deserve to have their mouths washed out with diarrhea.  In fact, even the inclusion of a "chicken cheesesteak" on the Tat's menu is an absolute disgrace.  A person of higher moral character than myself might choose to abstain from even eating here based on that item, and they would be a better person than me.  "Chicken cheesesteak" - heavy on the air quotes.

That is Tat's failing.  My failing is that I've never had a hoagie steak, or a hoagie cheesesteak.  Never.  Had a hundred cheesesteaks.  Had a dozen or two pizza steaks.  Had more hoagies than anyone should eat and still be able to fit through a regular sized doorway.  Never had their bastard offspring.

My buddy Ethan met up with me and we broke my hoagie steak cherry, as anticlimactic of an event as that is.

"Hoagie Steak. Topped with lettuce, tomato, onion."

The Tat's menu is wild about capitalization and sometimes straight up terse.  I did mine up this time, provolone, onions, and fried peppers.  The french rolls today were super soft, there was no crust on it and that was a little disappointing, but it saved the roof of my mouth some pain so I shouldn't complain too much.  Other than that there's not a single bad thing I can say about this sandwich. I devoured it before I even realized I had started eating it.  I could go in for two more right now. 

Unlike my last encounter, the beef was fantastic this time.  The provolone is always a good choice, and the onions and peppers really shouldn't be optional.  The lettuce and tomato take this sandwich in a totally wholesome direction, which for a cheesesteak is pretty weird.  It's like the sandwich equivalent of an attractive lady dressed up as a slutty librarian.  The contrast between the virgin (lettuce, tomato, onions) and the whore (fucking cheesesteak, dude) is more than the sum of its parts.

Go eat one.  Remember to not stand up until your sandwich boner subsides.